Third Party Candidate 2016: Phil (Filthy!) Thomas
Is anyone else tired of hearing people say they are thinking of moving to Canada or to Costa Rica? Not that we don’t get the reasoning…
Our political system terrifies people who aren’t insane, with real life comic book villains dueling it out to claim the role of The President of The United States of America.
During the last election cycle Clown Shoes released a beer called Third Party Candidate. Our friend, Geoff Dale from Three Heads Brewing, graced the label, displaying the Three heads hand signal which many people sadly mistook to be “the shocker.”
That beer was a joke, just a bit of fun the first time. No one expected or wanted Geoff to win, though he earned a few votes.
This time, Third Party Candidate 2016 features our California Clown Shoes representative: Phil (Filthy) Thomas.
Filthy is not a joke. While indeed a human version of a comic book character, he’s a hero, not a villain.
Ok, I can’t help myself: Phil owns a higher IQ than John Travolta in Phenomenon, has perfected more dance moves than Beyoncé, breaks more concrete slabs with his forehead than Chuck Norris in his prime, surfs ninety foot waves on a longboard, and he can sing with greater sweetness than angelic choir boys pouring their hearts out as they render Ave Maria.
But forget all of that for a moment. The forthcoming blunt fact will sway your vote: Filthy is not an asshole.
America, we need help. Tell your friends. Post on all branches of social media. Take megaphones and homemade posters to the streets.
Phil T. ! Phil T. ! Phil T. !
Keep America Clean: Vote Filthy!
(P.S Oh yeah, the beer itself! The 2016 Version of Third Part Candidate is an Imperial Pale Lager, dry hopped heavily with Idaho 7, Sterling, and Columbus.)